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Returning back to work after maternity leave, does not only mean preparing all the logistics for your child but also preparing yourself emotionally. Even if you enjoy your work, returning after maternity leave can be challenging, although for those of us who are lucky enough to love their job, it could mean getting a break from juggling dirty nappies and bottles.
One of the major challenges, before returning to work is choosing a childcare facility for your bundle of joy (unless you have relatives…normally grandparents who can take over in your absence). In the last couple of years, the amount of childcare centers have drastically increased, thus giving us parents more choice.
- Choosing a Childcare
When my son was born, one of the first things I did, was look for a childcare. There are many important aspects to consider when choosing a childcare such as (1) proximity to your workplace or your home (2) cleanliness (3) outdoor space (4) environment inside and (5) age appropriate activities.
I opted for childcare centers, within proximity to my home and started scheduling appointments. Most of the facilities requested that I visited in the afternoon, when they were quieter, which I found no objection to. During these visits, I always tried to take my daughter with me, reason being that as a 6-years old, she was seeing it from the eyes of a child. Most childcare facilities (at least those I visited), where houses converted into childcare facilities, thus having structural limitations as to what they could do. I was not a big fan of this, as the space was not designed to be childcare facility…it has its limitations, despite having the necessary safety measures. Don’t get me wrong, it does not mean these are less qualified or are not good…..it’s just my personal preference and after all the space is what it is and they make their utmost to make it safe and pleasant for the children. Finally, I found the right place, which had an open plan space and beautifully decorated (obviously the center ticked all the other boxes important for me). I must say, that I do not regret the choice.
- Emotional battle
So the logistical aspects have been finalized but you are not emotionally prepared to go back to work. Initially you might be excited, however as the day draws near for you to return to work, you feel uneasy – you have been missing for so many weeks that you do not know what to expect upon your return. The feeling of guilt starts increasing day by day……..the emotions range from fear to guilt as you feel you are neglecting your child or that you are not a good mother. You should not feel guilty…….if going to work at the end of the day makes you feel good then there is nothing wrong with it…..and sometimes it does good to get up, get dressed and go to work.
The guilt feeling, will continue to haunt you, throughout the years….if your child is sick, if your child does something wrong…..whatever the case may be, it is likely that you would blame yourself as being a bad mother, when in realty it is not the case.
So the day, when you return to work has finally arrived . Don’t be surprised if after you drop off your child you end up crying, and be engulfed with a sense of guilt. It is normal….it will get better as the days go by. Inevitably, you would talk about your baby with your colleagues and possibly even call the childcare center to check that everything is fine. It is perfectly normal.
Everyday it will get better, and you will establish a routine. However, if you are struggling and you are feeling uneasy, do not be afraid to speak to your partner about your emotions and if need be seek professional help. The first year, is still a recovery period for you, both physically and emotionally, therefore it is very important take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of your child and family.
Congratulations, you have successfully managed to return to work. The next big step would be, accompanying your child to school. Let’s not think about that….will cross that bridge when we come to it.
Love
Strugglingmum
