admin As you all know might know by now, I am a mum of two….a 9-year old girl and a 3-year old boy. My daughter was born when I was 33yrs old and my son when I was 39yrs old. Everyone used to tell me that with the second one, things would be easier…..the only thing easier is that you already know how to change a nappy and make a bottle…..for the rest I did not find it easier.
I used to think that my daughter was very active and always up to something, up until my son was born! But what tasks have become more difficult?
- Balancing time
Finding alone time with your eldest child, can be quite challenging. Keep in mind that, your eldest was used having your undivided attention for a number of years. Having a second child, will definitely take time away from your eldest which might instill some jealousy.
It is important to make alone time with your eldest child but also time for yourself and your partner.
- More things to carry around
With two kids, obviously you would need to carry more stuff around. Even though my daughter is 9-years old, when we go out I still like to take some snacks for her too and a water bottle.
- Balancing school and extra curricular activities
If children go to different schools sometimes, balancing their calendars can be somewhat difficult.
(a) if you work outside the home, you would need to book your vacation leave (whether in days or in hours)in advance in order to attend school activities;
(b) sometimes you would need to be in two different places either at the same time or within a short period of time.
I am the kind of person who likes to write things down, so I decided to design my own planner according to my needs.
- Dealing with different characters
Each child has a different character and different exigencies which sometimes can put your patience to the test. With 2 or more kids, it is inevitable that at one point you might have a child who is bored or crying whilst the other one is having a blast.
They will fight continuously but after a few minutes they will be buddies again and you end up looking like a fool trying to separate them when they already made up.
- You only have two hands and a pair of ears
Generally this happens whilst preparing dinner…..one of the children decides that it is the opportune time to tell you ALL that happened at school, whilst the little one clings to your leg.
- Having a conversation on the phone
I am always baffled how every time I am on the phone, one of the kids desperately needs to speak to me, go potty or have a massive argument between them.
- You are never alone
You really have to make an extra effort to have some time for yourself or with your partner. Sometimes, one needs to plan less and take impromptu decisions. It’s not the first time, that you plan a date night and one of the kids ends up sick and have to cancel everything.
The most epic is using the bathroom….you will always have company….someone will always be knocking at your door.
- The 2nd child tends to wait more
With one child, your attention is focused on one person, therefore whatever they need you act immediately. As a parent you are more protective and get easily worried with the first child.
Once the second child arrives, you would have gained experience and issues which were worrying in your first child, are likely to be surpassed when it happens to the second. You tend to understand more, when your intervention is required urgently.
- Notwithstanding everything it’s more FUN
On the other hand, despite all the challenges, having two or more kids can be fun as well. The home is full of life, and personally when either one of them is not at home, I feel a void…..the house seems so empty.
Their innocence can melt the toughest heart and on those days when everything seems to be going wrong, a smile or a hug from your kids can make you forget anything.
Life with two or more children is not easy especially nowadays. We tend to put a lot on our plates. Take life with a pinch of salt and although there will be days, when you want to escape from everything, remember that it is just a phase and things will get better.
Love
Strugglingmum xxx
