admin Are you an organized person but your partner or family are messy? Are you constantly picking after them and cannot understand how the mess does not bother them? Reality is that the mess does not really bother them and most likely they organize differently. Here are some tips how you can live with a messy person and keep your sanity:
1. Less stuff = less clutter = less of a mess
The less stuff you have, the less clutter you will have laying around. Consequently a messy person will be less prone to leave things running around.
2. Choose your battles
You love your partner and children dearly but you are constantly fighting and have a sense of frustration because of their mess they make. Choose your battles….it’s not the end of the world if the toothpaste is squeezed from the top instead of the bottom (no matter how irritating it can be), but it’s ok. However, it’s not ok if you find moldy food hidden in your kids bedroom.
Don’t just complain about it, but explain that moldy food brings cockroaches and can make you sick.
3. Simplify
Messy people need easy and straight forward organizational system. Why don’t they put the plates in the cupboard? Why don’t they put dirty clothes in the laundry basket? Most likely for them opening the cupboard and lifting the lid of the laundry basket is a waste of energy (most likely their minds are thinking that they would be using those plates anyway and it does not matter if the clothes are on the floor they need to be washed anyway).
Have you considered installing open shelving in the kitchen, and place most used plates on open shelves?! Have you considered changing your laundry basket to one that does not have a lid?! If you want to go a step further, label every single thing….for children add a picture.
4. Teach them Young
If you have a messy partner and don’t want your kids to be messy, then from a very young age teach them to put their toys away, to put the dishes in the dishwasher when done. The earlier the better. That way you only have to deal with your partner and not a whole family.
5.Lower your expectations
It might not as good as when you do it, but at least they are doing an effort. Allow your children and partner to do things around the house. They are fully capable of cleaning, they are just choosing not to do it. If you requested that they make the bed and to put their clothes in the closet, and you find the clothes just dumped into the closet, don’t get mad. They did what you asked. Next time tackle how clothes should be placed in the closet. It won’t be the same as when you do it, but it’s good enough.
6. Give them their own personal space
Allocate a space where you have no say. It could be a drawer or a cupboard, where it is their responsibility. It is up to them to keep it organized. You are not allowed to touch it. Have a conversation, discuss the matter and come to an agreement.
I understand that it’s difficult from your end, to refrain from commenting or nagging but remember why you are together. Explain what bothers you, but at the same time don’t expect them to be as neat as you are. Motivate them and praise their efforts. But remember….EVERYONE ORGANIZES DIFFERENTLY. A MESSY PERSON JUST ORGANIZES DIFFERENTLY.
Love
Strugglingmum xxx
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