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As you can anticipate from the title, this post will be the harsh reality of a working mum of two small children. Back when I was a child, my mother as I guess, like most other mothers was a stay at home mum but nowadays the norm has changed. Back then the lifestyle was so different.
Being a stay at home mum or a career mum, is a personal choice and no one should judge such a decision.
Let’s be realistic, being a career mum is stressful and tiring. Sometimes I just want to quite everything and run away on a desert island, where no one bugs me with deadlines and where I can have a snack with no one clinging to my legs.
Juggling the family and work needs planning and organising and notwithstanding, most have the support of family members (mostly grandparents) and other government institutions, we mothers tend to be engulfed with a sense of guilt. We feel guilty because we are leaving our kids in the hands of someone else, rather than raising them ourselves. We feel that we are not giving enough time to our family or on the other hand we not giving enough committment to our place of work. It is only natural to feel like this.
Whatever, kind of work you do, it has its own problems and am sure that sometimes, when you go home you keep on thinking on a particular issue. The commute from work to pick up your kids, can help you start distressing from work, so you are mentally prepared for your kids. If your kids are like my daughter, the first thing she says when she sees me is “I am hungry“.……whilst my son as soon as he gets into his car seat, he starts crying either for his dummy or for something to eat.
At home it can be total chaos, trying to juggle homework, extracurricular activities and putting dinner on the table. Sometimes, they do not even give me the chance to change.
As a working mum, I do my best to keep up with school activities and have never missed a concert or a sports day. There have been years where I have ended up taking unpaid leave, because with school activities and school holidays ended up using everything. Despite the fact that nowadays the majority of both parents work, school activities are held during office hours and school holidays seem to be endless.
Society expects a lot from mothers…..only mothers who work can understand the frustration of going to work every morning, having a bad day at work and then be a loving and attentive mother to your kids and husband. Picking up the kids from school, coordinating when the kids are sick or on holidays, it a logistical task in itself. You need to plan ahead as otherwise will end up stranded. It is easy to say quit your job….but when there are financial commitments which need to be honored is not easy.
To keep up with things, sometimes you need to draw up lists and routines, which sometimes are not followed……but at least there is the will to try.
I aspire to reach a level of serenity whereby when I arrive home, I make myself a cup of tea, my kids voluntarily start their homework (here I am asking too much), start dinner in peace and quiet, and spend quality time with the family.
Love
Strugglingmum
