I am mean…….and proud of it.

“You are a mean mum….” my daughter sometimes says and my reply is always “I am mean and proud of it”.

I am definitely not the most popular mum and definitely am not interested in being one.  My parenting style can be unconventional and let me even dare say ‘weird’ for other parents.  Let’s be clear, everyone is free to raise their children as they please, and I would never judge another parent for the choices they make. On the other hand I don’t expect to be judged or questioned about my decisions.

It does not mean that I cannot be fun but there are boundaries, which children can interpret as being mean.

But why am I am mean mum?

1. I SAY ‘NO’

I don’t give my children whatever they ask for.  They can throw as many tantrums as they want, but if I say NO it’s a NO.  It is easy to say yes, and stop a scene at the supermarket….. because children know how to pull strings.

I firmly believe, that giving children whatever they want, will never allow them to appreciate the value of money when they grow up.  It is only hard work that makes appreciate what you have.

I want my children, to learn that when someone says no, it means no and should not insist.  There are no other meanings to a NO….it is a matter of respect.

Whenever possible I do give an explanation as to why the answer is NO, but there are other times that they have to accept it without arguing.  Do they always accept it? Obviously not but my decision is final.

2.  I ASK THEM TO DO CHORES

I am always nagging about doing chores….do they always do what I request…absolutely no.  Their refusal and my exasperation mean that toys can be thrown away if not put in their place, drawers can be totally emptied and need to be re-done by them.

If they are unable to at least clear away their toys…then they don’t need toys which means they would have nothing to put away.

3. I PROVIDE HEALTHY FOOD

Shame on me for feeding my kids healthy food!!!! It is very normal that children refuse to eating healthy food and every now and then, we do have take outs and indulge in junk food.  This should not be a habit and children should eat at balanced and varied diet.

If you are the person responsible for grocery shopping, then it is your responsibility of what food goes into your household.

4. NAGGING

I am the mean mum because I am the one nagging about studying, house chores and other things.

My husband and I agreed that he would be the fun guy and I would be the mean mum…..only when something is serious he steps in and is no longer the fun guy.  We balance each other.

5. I GIVE OUT PUNISHMENTS

Do you remember the physics lessons?  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  I give out punishments, yes I do, it might sound strange to some of you.  I have tried positive reinforcement but for me it does not seem to work.

Kids have to learn to be responsible and respect authority.  When they grow older, and do something wrong it, there could be serious repercussions and no one to do positive reinforcement.

Raising children is not easy, raising responsible and well educated children is even harder.  It does mean that I am always giving out punishments and nagging my children, we do have our funny moments as well.

Frankly speaking, I don’t want my kids to be assholes when they grow up…..so instead of judging my parenting style, help me raise responsible children.  There needs to be a balance…..there have to be fun times, cuddling times but also serious times.

I am a mean mum and proud of it.

Love

Strugglingmum xxxx